Summary | Other Versions | Appearances

The Fat Guy is the name of a long-lived human entity, a member of The Company who eventually grew far beyond human proportions. He has also been known by other names, although his real name, if one exists, is unknown.

Few in the paper computer game universe have not encountered this supernaturally obese monstrosity. He’s a gigantically fat man, as his name suggests. He rarely wears much clothing beyond a simple, stretched out pair of underwear. He can almost always be found sitting in passageways that his fatness can block.

He has since grown to planetary proportions, dubbing himself The Perfect One in the process. Additionally, across time and space, other versions of The Fat Guy have arisen for various reasons.

The Perfect One is a being who has grown so fat as to become nearly the size of a planet. As such, he has achieved a spherical shape, which he considers perfection, leading him to dub himself "The Perfect One".

He continuously attacks Earth, enraged by all their offenses against him in his previous life as The Fat Guy. He's sometimes foiled in these attacks by the Scientists of Earth.

Additionally, he is also known as the planet Zoniat, which is home to an entire civilization.

Main Article: Zoniat

This planet should go on a diet! Following his quest to become more perfect and round as seen in The Perfect One comic series, The Fat Guy grew to planetary proportions. A whole ecosystem developed on his surface, and Newman built a civilization there, primarily using robots.

To those living on its surface, the "planet" was known as Zoniat, as it was divided into mostly segrogated zones such as the Cone Zone, the Gnome Zone, and the Xaq's House Zone. While mostly inhabited by robots, there are biological inhabitants as well, such as Dino. (Space-Balls Series: "Space-Balls", "Tutorial Bot's Past")

As it was also the setting for Malphoid's adventures, the planet was formerly known as Malphoid's World. (Malphoid Series: "Malphoid the Mailbox Bot"; Space-Balls Series: "Space-Balls")


The BeginningEdit

The Skinny Guy

The Skinny Guy, blocking off a corridor with his acrobatic talent.

To find his origins, we must go back 1,000 years in time to the planet Shri, where king Ginkus of the dying Zorelta nation was imprisoned by his Crodin enemies. He escaped, and made it to a Crodin flying saucer. Once inside, he encountered the most supernaturally skinny being he’d ever seen. The ‘Skinny Guy’ blocked a passage in the ship much in the same way the Fat Guy does now, but with acrobatic talent instead of fatness. Ginkus managed to trick the Skinny Guy into eating some ‘low fat’ ice cream, which turned out to be quite fattening indeed. The Skinny Guy gained so much weight that he fell through the floor and out of Ginkus’ way. (Ginkus' Odyssey game:' "The Last of the Zorelta")

It is presumed that the Skinny Guy then became the Fat Guy, although it is unknown how he had such a long lifespan.

Fat Guy sun worship

At some indeterminate point in history (Possibly in an alternate world), the Fat Guy led a cult of sun-worshippers.

Regardless, the next time the Fat Guy appears in our records is in the 1800s on Earth. He obstructed a Victorian woman in a small English town who was on a quest to rescue Lizzie from Pride and Prejudice. Shortly after this encounter, the Fat Guy seems to have migrated to the United States, because in a midwestern town, a criminal named Ned Norwegian was told by the Sheriff of a ‘Billy-Bob Fat Boy’ who’d been halting production in a gold mine. (Miscellaneous game: Pride and DEATH-Ju-Jice, and Series 2 game:"The Fabric of Reality")

It seems the Fat Guy made his way to Nekonron, China, losing some weight in the journey. There, he acted as one of the guardians of a temple atop a mountain. When Ranma and his friends tried to charge up the mountain, they found themselves blocked by colossal fatness. However, their Elephant befriended the Fat Guy, distracting him. This allowed the others to pass. (Animated Movie - "Ranma 1/2: Trouble in Nekonron China")

What the fat guy did between then and now is merely conjecture, but it’s fairly safe to say that he did a lot of blocking passages and eating.

Blocking up Company corridorsEdit

Xaq encounters him in one of his early adventures. By this time, the Fat Guy was working for the Company. They would strategically place him in corridors which they didn’t want Xaq access to. Xaq’s first response to seeing the fat guy was to attempt to reason with him. This was, of course, unsuccessful; the Fat Guy clearly knew only pain, for himself and his enemies, and wanted to make Xaq’s life miserable.

Basic Fat Guy

A standard encounter with The Fat Guy; this time, he's blocking up a corridor and preventing Ari and Pierre from passing.

Over the years he encountered Xaq repeatedly, attempting to bar his path on various occasions. He’s even gone so far as to have the Company constantly beam food into his stomach to make him fatter, ensuring that Xaq could not pass. Xaq, of course, did nonetheless.

As Xaq moved into late teenager hood, the Fat Guy continued to block him as often as possible. The company, it seems, never got tired of using him to this end. (Series 1)

Series 2 eraEdit

When Xaq was sucked back through time, he also encountered a Flying Saucer embroiled in a battle over a medieval castle. Sneaking aboard the ship, he encountered The Fat Guy blocking a corridor on the ship. Luckily, he was able to find some Slim Fast and apply it to the situation. (Series 2: "Till Time Do Us Part")

The universe tore itself up and put itself back together again- bringing the Fat Guy temporarily into a medieval world. For the occasion, he wore a suit of armor and was kept inside a great Pyramid, blocking a path as always. It was here that he encountered Xaq, his most hated nemesis, once more. Xaq also encountered the spirit of the Fat Guy’s mother, who he tricked into believing that the Fat Guy owned a dog—Apparently very taboo amongst incredibly obese people. She chased the Fat Guy away. (Series 2: "The Fabric of Reality", "Ginkus' Gift")

In a very strange place, there was an immensely annoying room, called the "Infernal Room of Arrgh-ness". The Fat Guy blocked the exit to this room, sealing a poor man named Albert inside. Albert slowly went crazy in the bright room full of hundreds of bright-orange balls constantly bouncing off the walls. However, Main Dude luckily came by and shot the Fat Guy with Slim Fast bullets. This caused him to shrink back into the Skinny Guy, albeit temporarily. (Main Dude's First Game)

When Xaq's friend Pierre got sucked into struggles with the Company, he met the Fat Guy for the first time. The Fat Guy was blocking the entrance to Rorric's mansion. Disgusted by the Fat Guy, Pierre managed to use some SlimFast to get him out of the way. Shortly thereafter, the Fat Guy was beamed up to an Alien Flying Saucer, where he was restored to his original fatness. That fat guy wanted revenge! When Pierre and friends were abducted by that same alien ship, he blocked an even more sensitive corridor, and it was nearly impossible to get past him; However, Pierre used a giant spatula to roll him over and through the floor. (Pierre Series: "The Evil League of Evil-Ness", "The Alien Abduction")

How ironic are the Fat Guy's defeats.

Fat Guy 3d

The Fat Guy, depicted here in 3d, blocking a doorway while eating a lollipop.

The Fat Guy visited Geoffrey’s mansion in Europe on behalf of the Company for a short time. It was his job to mess up the U.B.P.E, a competing evil group. He became one of the suspects when Geoffrey was murdered. During the mystery, he wore a suit. (Charles Mystery Stories: "The Mansion of Mystery")

Returning to Shri, he attempted to block the path of Cassie in a strange house, where she was escaping from being experimented on. She dropped him through the floor, however, and he fell into an ancient labyrinth underground. There, he managed to block Ari when he was exploring the underground labyrinth. Ari managed to get past him as well. (Squids in Forests: "When Evil Flows in Freeness")

The Company assigned him to block a critical area in their laboratory on Szan’Xi. Balzak Globotron encountered him here for the first time, during his quest to learn of his origins. Balzak, of course, got past him. (Balzak Globotron Series: "Series 2Globotron]]")

It seems that after this adventure, the Fat Guy returned to earth and lost a good deal of weight once more, returning to his normal size.

The Alien Advance Scout encountered him in the Earth Building, in which humans resided. For once the Fat Guy did a good thing, attempting to block the Alien, who was on a mission to conquer humanity. The alien got past him as well. (Alien Invasion Series: “ALIEN INVASION!!! Part Zero- Prologue”)

The Perfect OneEdit


In 2006, the Fat Guy achieved one of his goals- He became so fat as to be a perfect sphere. Once he reached this landmark achievement he began thinking bigger than he'd ever thought before. Instead of simply blocking passageways, the Fat Guy used his new-found perfect-ness to block off the Panama Canal. He considered it his first task as "The Perfect One". (The Perfect One Comic: Fat Guy: His Story)

The Perfect One

In his new form as the Perfect One, this fattest of beings has moved on from blocking simple hallways and can now block the Panama Canal.

Conventional weapons failed to remove him. Jet planes bombed him and submarines torpedoed him to no avail. A short time later, he attempted to increase his perfect-ness by gaining more weight. He gained so much that he became a small planetary body and attempted to munch on the moon before he fell towards the sun. ("The Perfect One: His Own Story")

In a desperate attempt to save himself, the Perfect One expelled a large amount of gas to propel himself away from the sun, and his gamble paid off- he pushed himself into geosynchronous Earth orbit, where he blocked the sunlight from getting to North America. ("The Perfect One: Geosynchronous As In Orbit")


The planet Zoniat, aka the Fat Guy.

At some point when he was planetary size, Newman landed on his body in a spacecraft and began building robots which turned into a full society. To the inhabitants, the new world was known as Zoniat. Some, including Liit, didn't know the world's true nature until The Collector told him they were living on The Fat Guy. ("Space-Balls")

The governments of the world launched a fleet of Quantum-Transmogrification Missiles, laced with Slim Fast. The combination worked, blowing him up. Unfortunately, however, this attack split him into hundreds (or possibly even thousands) of miniature copies of himself. Many of them were roughly the size that the Perfect One was when he first blocked the Panama Canal. ("The Perfect One: The Slim-Fast Missiles", "The Perfect Ones")

One copy of the Perfect One made his way into Death Ward hospital, where an amnesiac Charles encountered him. Charles found him slightly familiar, despite the fact that he had changed significantly since he last encountered him. In stark contrast to the suit he’d worn at the time, the Perfect One now had long, Zoovac-like straight hair and wore a metallic emblem on his chest which displayed the mathematical formula for the volume of a perfect sphere. Charles was able to trick this copy of the Perfect One into eating a cookie which contained SlimFast. This seems to have neutralized that particular copy. (Charles Mystery Stories Game: “Welcome to Death Ward Hospital”)



Perfecto emerges, his body rippling with energy.

It was unknown whether the copies would somehow remerge into one, or whether the Fat Guy’s story as a single being was truly over. The latter possibility seemed highly unlikely. The Scientists of Earth once more brought forth a brilliant solution: They would launch a fleet of gravity missiles filled with ice cream, which would compress the fat swarm into one mass. ("The Perfect One: Clone Ball")

Sure enough, when the dust cleared, a single being emerged. Much smaller than the Perfect One’s full mass, but still gigantic, Perfecto hung there in space, compressed energy flowing over his fat body, with a new logo displaying E=mc2 on his chest. His new name somehow proudly displayed his new nature.

Perfecto was more powerful than ever. In desperation, the governments of the world launched their fleet of advanced spacecraft to defend the planet. Unfortunately, Perfecto destroyed their fleets. With no hope, the Earth surrendered to Perfecto, and all nations turned their efforts to producing food for the Perfect One. ("Perfecto: The Perfect One")

Successful, he relaxed. Someone gave him an amulet which allowed him to temporarily shrink and become only The Fat Guy again, at least for a short time. He used this ’vacation’ to block an aisle in Barnes and Noble. The woman who he blocked, however, was able to trick him into consuming some SlimFast. This shrunk away his temporary smallness, leaving only his gigantic form behind. He became Perfecto once more. ("Quest for the Vengeful Book")

But the Scientists of Earth, meanwhile, were not defeated. Searching for a way to defeat Perfecto, they decided to create a female counterpart for The Perfect One; known as the Bride of Perfecto. This was accomplished by creating a feminine mold and pumping tons and tons and tons of sugar, cake, and ice cream into it for months. Finally, the finished creation was launched into space. Perfecto immediately fell in love with her, unaware of her origins or of the fact that there was a chip embedded in her brain. Meanwhile, on Earth, the scientists activated the chip. What happened afterwards has yet to be revealed. ("Perfecto: His Story")


A year after the events with the Bride of Perfecto, Perfecto was sleeping and dreaming, far from Earth. He dreamed of the horrors that the Earth people had wrought on him, and when he woke up, realized that it was no dream. Wanting revenge, he immediately set out for Earth, traveling at relativistic speeds. ("The Perfect One, Volume 2 issue 1")

As Perfecto approached Earth from outside the galaxy, he swore to eat it when he arrived. meanwhile, the Scientists of Earth prepared a new Dark Energy weapon, the Faith-Based Ultra-Dimensional Hyper-Space Dark-Energy-Anomaly-Projector to fight him. ("The Perfect One, Volume 2 Issue 2a")

The Scientists fired their Dark Energy weapons towards T.P.O, which traveled faster than light via wormholes. The Dark Energy created a spatial distortion which repelled Perfecto and began to suck him in. This caused him to become extremely angry at the Earth people for attacking him despite his selfless services to them. He thought of a way to escape the spatial distortion. ("The Perfect One, Volume 2 issue 2aa")

He built an Entropy Destabilizer out of highly sophistocated technology and lots of gears. Built on contradictory mathematics, the purpose of the machine was to cause chaos by off-setting the value of 1, such that 1=2. The machine was a success, granting Perfecto incredible power. ("The Perfect One, Volume 2 issue 3")

The resulting waves of Chaos radiated from the Entropy Vortex, intercepting the Dark Energy Anomaly Beams, resulting in reality alternately appearing and disappearing, creating a throbbing, oscillating universe. On Earth, this effect caused nausea in many of the people. ("The Perfect One, Volume 2 issue 4")

Struggling for reality, Perfecto had an idea. He traveled back through time to attack the humans before they could think of the Dark Energy weapon. When he disappeared, Earth Scientist B. Wayne ordered the weapon deactivated. ("The Perfect One, Volume 2 issue 5")

However, Perfecto miscalculated. He traveled back too far into the past, arriving some 60,000 years ago. He realized his mistake, but was moving too fast to stop. He crashed into the Earth during the time of the Dinosaurs, with a massive impact that created a cloud of dust in the Earth's atmosphere, which lead to the extinction of the Dinosaurs. This extinction event allowed mammals to proliferate and eventually evolve into humans, becoming the dominant species on Earth. Perfecto had unintentionally created his hated nemesis, humanity. ("The Perfect One, Volume 2 issue 9", "The Perfect One, Volume 2 issue 10")

It remains to be seen whether The Perfect One is truly dead.

The Fat Guy’s unique history goes back a thousand years, maybe even since the beginning of ages and will most likely continue for the next thousand in one form or another. Perhaps one of these days he will successfully prevent a main character from passing him. It remains to be seen.

Alternate incarnations Edit

Throughout our records, the Fat Guy has popped up in different times and places, sometimes with a totally different origin and history than the one we know. These Fat Guys wouldn't remember any of the history described above; and yet they are almost certainly incarnations of the same monstrous entity, somehow.


Fairy Fat Guy

Gluttony, an Umbrian Senator.

Main Article: Gluttony

Far before any previously known encounters with the Fat Guy, Adam encountered a suspiciously fat member of the Umbrian race, during his biblical adventures at the beginning of time.

During his explorations of the city of Babel, Adam learned of a group of Umbrians who had formerly been the human Senators of Babel, now personified by their sin.

Our Fat Guy was one such senator. He was identified by his sin, which was Gula (or Gluttony). Prior to his existence as an Umbrian, he was known on Soluna by his original human name, Temperantia. When he encountered Adam, his rediculously massive shadowy "body", if you could call it that, gleefully prevented Adam from passing through a sewer passage, in true Fat Guy form. He was vicious, as well. He had tentacles at his base and massive wings supporting him, and he would grab Adam and attempt to eat him. (Soul Symphony: "Exile")

Apeball landEdit

Main Article: The Fat Guy (Apeball Land)

Another version of The Fat Guy lived in Apeball land. This version was fatter than the one previously encountered (prior to that version becoming The Perfect One, that is), sitting on the ground but stretching up high enough to smash through a raised train track, thus preventing anyone from being able to finish their cart ride.

He was likely the son of Fat Guy's Father, and both Fat Guys may have previously been Cave Men, mutated by a strange pink substance in their environment.

Xaq briefly encountered this Fat Guy, at first believing him to be the same Fat Guy he knew from many adventures. Getting past this Fat Guy, however, proved one of Xaq's toughest challenges. (Xaq Series: "Xaq to the Future")

Bill Edit

Main Article: Bill

This version of the Fat Guy called himself Bill and had darker skin. He also seemed more innocent. What was the true nature of Bill?.

Bill 3d

Bill in 3d!.

Bill was the The Fat Guy's horrific mole. He was an unspeakable blemish on the world, and even the Fat Guy.

But luckily Quintin Taratino killed him.

In 2007, the Unknown Prisoner of the Space-Balls and his party encountered an incarnation of the Fat Guy named Bill. Bill had darker skin and no memories beyond the last few days. The Unknown Prisoner tricked him into taking a paddle, which attracted a vicious bird who ripped Bill into pieces.

The Protagonist and his party continued exploring the world, finding, among other things, giant hairs. There was also a tick eating away at the ground. The Unknown Protagonist removed the tick, helping whatever was below the ground that the hairs belonged to.

By the end of their adventure, the Unknown Prisoner and his party discovered that the planet they were exploring was, in fact, The Fat Guy. It is unknown whether he still went by the name of Perfecto or the Perfect One, but he was still a perfect sphere big enough to be a planet. It was revealed that Bill had been one of the Fat Guy’s moles.

Bill was subsequently torn apart by Bird. (Space-Balls Series: "Space-Balls")

Inanimate versionsEdit

The Fat Family Edit

Our records have turned up numerous beings similar to The Fat Guy in numerous respects. Some are his biological relatives, while others simply took after him or coincidentally became supernaturally obese themselves.


See AlsoEdit